Living & Dying in the Deep End
Why I care enough about life to start this blog.
Get Busy Living, Or…
“You have lymphoma.”
That was the email I got from a doctor I had never met in May 2021.
“We don’t know what kind it is. We don’t know what stage it is. Your doctor will call you later today.”
Worst. Email. Ever.
Kind of hard to sign off from an email like that. What do you say? Best Wishes? See you soon…maybe?
There are moments in life you can quickly and easily identify as the worst moments you can remember. This was one of mine.
Steph was six months pregnant with our first child. Sitting on that barstool with tears flooding the countertop that Friday morning, all I could think was, “I want to meet my baby. I don’t want to leave her alone to raise this child.”
It was more than four weeks before I found out what type and stage of cancer I had. Thirty-one days in the wilderness of waiting. Praying. Crying. Cursing. (Sometimes those are all the same thing.) Hoping. And more waiting.
In that season, I found God in a deeper way than I ever have. I’m a pastor, and I know that means I was supposed to be born with a halo and a direct line to heaven, but that’s not really how it works.
God used thirty-one days in the desert of an unknown cancer, and the subsequent six months of chemo, to get me used to the idea that I’m not going to live forever. In fact, I might not be alive this time next year.
And that’s ok.
“And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your span of life?” - Jesus, Matthew 5:27
If I can’t be sure I’m going to live long, I’ll be damned if I don’t live deep.
More Than a Tweet
That’s why I’m writing this blog. To give more focused attention to the deep things of life. The beautiful things. The complicated things. The confounding things. Ideas, debates, questions, and challenges that require more than 280 characters to describe.
I’m not interested in playing in the shallow end of the pool, and I’ll bet you’re not either.
Life’s too short. It’s too rich. God’s too big.
Let’s dive in.
Brings back memories and tears. Tears of fear and Tears of gratefulness. What a year.
So grateful you are writing and sharing your heart. In the deep in with you ... tough place ... but an amazing place from which to watch God's glory. Eager to read as you write.
Ready to read and looking forward to it!